Remembering Mo.
Transparent Moment:
Freshman year in college my English professor asked us to write a poem about ourselves or something that we are currently experiencing that no one else sees. It was our final exam and we had to complete it in 3 minutes. Less than 3 minutes, you would get points deducted. More than 4 minutes, point deducted lol. Let’s just say i got an A. This past August while on a trip to Dallas, two of my friends reminded me of this poem. Here’s a poem from my past!
It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month marks 5 years since your passing, yet still i remember it all like it was yesterday. You are loved and missed, Mo!
ENC 1102
APRIL 17, 2012
Just Give Me Three Minutes
Just give me three minutes to explain this smile.
All I need is three minutes.
Three minutes for you to understand that this smile is sometimes a smile of denial.
A smile miscommunicated, underestimated, and fragile
So listen for three minutes.
Listen as I tell you this smile is not a perfect smile,
But a smile that shows a strong individual that is going through some trials.
So just listen to me for three minutes.
For you, this smile defines me.
But for me it masks the pain and agony.
Do you know what I’m hiding?
Hear me out as I explain to you why I really smile.
I smile because it’s easy to do, without having to explain to others what I’m going through
I smile because it makes me feel good,
I smile because I am a work in progress.
So when you see this smile, think twice before you say
Dang this girl has it all.
Just listen
Listen to me like you listen to Pandora all day,
Listen to me like you listen to Drake and Wale,
Listen to me like you listen to techno music at Pot’s on Thursday’s,
Or just listen to me like I am Iceberg at Baja’s on Saturday's,
I am just asking for you to listen.
So just listen
You see there is something that my smile isn’t telling you.
It’s not telling you that a month ago I received a phone call stating that the doctor said that my second mom, my best friend's mom only has three months to live which means just before her high school graduation her mother, my second mother would not make it.
But you see a doctor can say what he wants to say,
But at the end of the day they do not have the final say
So listen to me as I explain this smile
This smile that sometimes brings me sorrow, afraid to wake up tomorrow and receive that call.
That call saying that my best friend's mom may be gone.
So please listen to me as I define my smile.
You see this smile
Sometimes it's genuine,
Sometimes it’s pain
But I, ladies and gentlemen will never give you the chance to feel bad for me
Never give you a chance to have pity on me,
I smile because through it all, God still loves me.
This smile is not a perfect smile
But a misunderstood smile
So I will continue to smile
Because the only way I know how to cope, is with a smile.